Welcome back to Allsvenskan, arsewipes!

The season is finally underwaty with the first round of matches out of the way. The opening game for former top league team, Rögle, was supposed to be a mere formality as they were hosting Boras. That was a formalty that whacked them straight in the balls! RBK did well to rally back from 0-3 and take the game to extra time where they ended up losing 5-6. Needless to say, their return to Allsvenskan has been greeted in way they did not expect. The other new-commers, Tingsryd, lost 3-1 at local rivals Växjö.

Other notable results was that a new-look Leksand completely thrashed their opening opponents and derby rivals, Mora. An incredible second period saw them score five times and finally take the game 7-1. Almtuna also showed little mercy as relegation favourites Sundsvall was sent to intensive care after losing 6-1at home. A strong looking Västerås team also showed class at they romped home 5-0 against Bofors.

Pre-season starts in Leksand

After what seems as a short summer break, the hockey season is once again upon us with pre-season games getting under way across Sweden. Leksand is taking on Lillehammer of Norway this evening and the game can  be seen on Conny's TV with a 6pm (CET) start. Norway? Bah! Well, in all fairness it would most likely beat the Sweden v Scotland football friendly hands down in terms of entertainment value. Pesonen v Zlatan... Kollar v Svensson... I don't really need to say more, now do I?

Björklöven - the final verdict

The ridiculously long lasting saga on the Björklöven story has finally reached the end. A few weeks back, the Swedish Hockey Association came to the conclusion that their first decision regarding the future of the Umeå club would have to stand; they were forcibly relegated due to economical problems and although the club has come through them, the relegation still has to stand.

The Björklöven board of course took this through to appeal and the final verdict came the other day: The relegation stands. And rightly so. 

Although the club managed to survive, the economical dealings of last year was extremely irresponsible. It must have been clear after the first month or two of last season that the budget was blown out of the water. Instead of consolidating and  cutting costs, they did the opposite. With already big debts on board, an increasing wage bill and dwindling crowds, there was only one way it would all finish. It seems the board made the most of it while it lasted by making sure back room staff got more than their fair share of the spoils before the proverbial shit would hit  the fan.

 Onwards and upwards!

I don't envy the new board, but they should be both glad and proud they have managed to get the club through this and to the other side. A couple of years in a lower division might be what they need to rebuild everything from the inside out. They'll be back soon enough - enjoy division 1 while it lasts.

World Cup intermission

No one has failed to notice the World Cup in football is on at the moment. I had promised not to write anything about it - there are enough football blogs anyway - but I have been swayed by what happened last night when Spain took on Portugal in the knock out stages.

This is not about the game. This is about my wife. And the teams.

Following the national anthems when the camera shows the close-ups of players singing along - or not as may be the case, Mrs Puckin' Hell, being forced to watch the games unless I disappear down the pub and free up the TV for her, sat up and said 'Spain and Portugal in football seems to be a bit like Sweden and Finland in ice hockey, with Portugal being like Finland' I was well impressed by her sudden knowledge of the sport. 'Not a bad comparison. They are neighbours and the rivalry is massive between the two countries. And as Finland, Portugal is usually at the wrong end of the scoreline.' I addeed. 'Aha...' she said 'I just meant that the Spaniards are quite good looking, whereas the Portuguese are a right ugly bunch.'.

There you go.

She's Finnish by the way...

Part MMCXXVII of the Björklöven saga

Some fuckers just don't know when to give up. And for that, Björklöven should be eternally grateful. The club has officially  managed to avoid being wound up and will continue to exist in its current shape. The question is now Where?

As the club seized trading at the end of the season, Sundsvall was given their spot and was told they'd be playing in Allsvenskan the coming year. Sunsvall has of course been setting themselves a different budget and has been working to a completely different framework than had they not been promoted. It would not be fair or right in this late stage to backtrack and tell them to play in Division 1. This has of course had ramifications throughout the hockey league and it is hard to see where Björklöven will fit in.

There are a few obvious alternatives, all with their pros and cons;

• Björklöven is told they can stay in Allsvenskan. The division is extended by one team and more rounds will be played. This will create a scheduling nightmare (the first round has already been drawn) as well as an imbalanced division with an odd number of teams. This will then need to be rectified for next season and there will be another relegation spot.
• The club is relegated to division one. The above problems will be shifted downwards one division.
• The club is told to start from the bottom of the system. This will in effect kill the club off. The arena, owned by Umea municipality, will be too big to host regional division 4 games and the club will have to find another home. Getting back to a position where they would fill their old arena would take many years.

No doubt the Swedish Icehockey Association will find the most complicated and impractical solution to the problem. I am waiting in anticipation.

But how did this happen. The club was run down completely by the board and incredible amounts were paid out to staff and players in salaries even when it was known within the club that there was no more money to take from. Apparently, the wage bill was 1.4M SEK/month. Even though this is limited to 7.5 months of the year, it adds up to an awful lot of money for this level of hockey. I can see why KHL were flirting with them earlier in the season - at least they are up to speed in how to do it in the board room.

Completely pucked!

So you knobbers think I'm dead, huh? If only! I must admit of a certain greyish-whiteish paleness, but years of London life generally has that effect on your skin tone. In all fairness, I am currently somewhat of a zombie during the waken hours and could easily be mistaken for dead or at least soon-to-be-dead, but that it all down to work and other things I have a feeling I might get back to in the coming months. Can't be bothered now though.

Anyway, I'll sporadically be posting during the summer but the frequency of the posts will be cut for obvious reasons. I'm not going to indulge too much in silly-season speculation unless there is actually a good reason for it. I suspect there will be a bunch of posts coming either today or during the next few days as I have kept away for a while.

The undeath of a hockey team

First it was AIK who undeaded themselves by getting promoted to Elitserien, now it seems an outside chance that Björklöven might join the same exclusive club. No, they're not getting promoted. They're trying to undead themselves as well - and by all means, they don't seem too far off achieving it. Puckin' Hell had along with everyone else assumed that Björklöven was not only dead, but buried and slightly decomposed by now. Well, we were all wrong it seems. To paraphrase Mark Twain, it seems the reports of Björklöven's death has been somewhat exaggerated.

 

Apparently, the club has until May 12th to get their finances in order and businessmen, benefactors, companies and the public has managed to get a large proportion of the money needed for survival. In a last ditch attempt, the club is now issuing share options to get the last money. I will join the rest of all hockey lovers to wish them every success in this campaign.

Something is rotten in the state of Sweden

Silly season is under way, but I still find myself depressed and downbeat thinking about hockey, so I have stayed away from the blog and all my bookmarked websites for a while. Needless to say, it is impossible to cleanse my world completely from it, as the whacking of a black rubber thingee on frozen water is a fully integrated part of my everyday life. Try and aviod it, and you get caught out with a tackle from behind that knocks you out for twenty. That is just what has happened.

I attended a friends wedding and as the brother of the bride is as much of a hockey fanatic as I am we obviously got into a conversation about the upcoming world championships and the season just gone. He's got it all sorted. Albeit he's Slovakian and usually only have an outside chance of seeing any medals on the international scene (I know, they still manage to beat Sweden every time, so I should keep stumm), his domestic side has defended their title. Košice beat local rivals Bratislava and you could see the excitement and joy in his face as he described the finals in detail.

After he finished he looked at me and told me he'd followed Leksand's results over the web. What is wrong with this Swedish ice hockey? How many years in a row have you won your division - 3? 4? And they still don't let you up? That seems completely fucked mate! I have never heard of a similar system anywhere. Why don't they change it?

As we downed another Sambuca, I nodded in agreement. Yeah, it is fucked. Then was going to explain what went wrong, and after a few seconds I found myself talking about economy, TV money, the struggles of several of the teams in the second tier to stay alive, and that's when it hit me like a face-slap from an over ripe herring. Talking about Swedish domestic ice hockey invariably develops into a discussion of figures and numbers. To talk Swedish ice hockey, you really need a university degree in advanced economics. And as any map will show you, Leksand, Umeå, Almtuna and Västerås is a very long way from Oxford, Cambridge or Yale.

In fact, it has indeed proven way too far away from Umeå, as Björklöven has seized to exist. The Swedish Champions from 1987 has been declared bankrupt. Björklöven fostered players such as Ulf Dahlén and Calle Johansson and I regarded them as one of the original 'Big' clubs with tradition and culture not many can match. It is truly an indication of how bad the state of Swedish ice hockey really is when a club like Björklöven disappears.

As I said, my friend has got it sorted. When he talks ice hockey, it is simply about what happens on the ice. That's the game I grew up with. That's the game I love! Could we have it back please Mr Loob?

Eriksson/Olsson at the helm

Unsurprisingly, Leksand presented the Swedish Junior Championships gold medal winner, Niklas Eriksson and former assistant coach Christer Olsson as the duo to take the elusive step to the top tier of Swedish hockey. In fact, it seems it was so well known among both journalists as well as the public, that a press conference was not held. The news appeared on the Leksand website without much fanfare. Too right!

The elusive promotion

From one of my all time favourite shows, The Smoking Room. The similarities between Barry and Leksand are striking.

Ekman-Larsson to Phoenix, Strumpan to Rögle?

News have come out the Oliver Ekman-Larsson has signed a 3 year contract with Phoenix while Leif Strömberg is linked to the vacancy in Rögle. Two interesting moves in their own right, but that's where the similarities stop. OEL will go over as one of the most promising defenders of his age group. I suspect he'll be told to build up some more muscle and prove himself in AHL, but fully expect him to get an outing or two in the first year across the pond.

 Good Luck!

Strumpan will be given a chance to rectify his now dented record of bringing teams through qualification with Rögle. The club will have to rebuild as many players have chosen to leave following relegation and Strömberg will undoubtedly want to populate the team with his type of players. Don't expect to see him signing any players who plays with flair - he prefers players with a minimum amount of skill, but a high work-rate. Undoubtedly he'll set up a team that will be hard to beat, but I am glad to see him head to Rögle and put their hockey fans through the pain of watching crap hockey week in and week out. Expect to see the attendance figures to drop dramatically - even compared to last time they were down in Allsvenskan. Good riddance I say!

Update: Wrong, wrong, wrong! At a press conference today, Rögle presented a trio to guide them back to Elitserien, including Kenny Jönsson as defensive coach.

Managerial merry-go-round is now in full swing

Here we go again. Teams supposedly failing to hit their targets set out before the season is now getting rid of their managers and the ones having done a brilliant job being lured to greener pastures. So far we have seen the top job being made available in Almtuna, Björklöven, Leksand, Västerås, Rögle and now also Malmö (not sure if I have missed any others). Of course, most of the jobs will go to managers who have previously been sacked/left another team where invariably they have failed.

Almtuna were facing the ungrateful task of replacing Jonas Rönnqvist who was offered the job at Luleå. So who do they get for the job? Bobo Simensen, infamous from his days at Rögle and Malmö. Last year he was safely tucked away at AIKs youth team! But of course someone had to drag him out in from the discarded toys' box. Where is the fucking law that says a coach must be recycled? Well, it was good as long as it lasted, but it's obviously time to say 'Bye bye, Almtuna!'. A bit melodramatic maybe, but it's not going to be any return to Kvalserien for them with him in charge.

Västerås has taken a slightly different route with employing Mats Waltin, a successful player in his day who has been coaching in Austria (AC Klagenfurter) and last heading up the Slovenian national team.

Björklöven has taken Jens Hellgren from Piteå and also see the return of Lars Molin.

In Malmö, the players apparently revolted against the hero of yesteryear, Göran Karlström, who stepped in and steered up the so called Babyhawks when the club was about to go under. I guess Carl 'Crybaby' Söderberg had to blame someone else for their failure to make Kvalserien. And what Calle wants, Calle gets - at least in Malmö. Hence, no more Karlström. The former assistant coach, Robert Olsson, takes over the reign.

Local rivals, Rögle is also on the lookout for  a new manager. Rumours are pointing towards Kenny Jönsson who helped the club up to Elitserien last time they went up - but then as a player. Could he do it again as a manager?

Leksand are expected to present their legendary ex-player Niklas Eriksson who has played more games for the club than anyone else. He has also shown his capabilities as a manager taking the Leksand youth team to win the Swedish championships this season.

Going further?

The worst is over - having failed in my suicide attempts (the closest I got was a severe hangover after trying to pickle my brain in vast amount of alcohol. The way I felt the morning after means I can't have been far off the mark...) I have now decided to move on. In fact, the best for my health as well as of others around me is for me to move on. Literally. I can't see any other possible solution.

London is obviously not far enough to avoid the pain caused by the constant failures of the hockey team in my heart. Why? Well, I get to follow most of the games live. I curse the internet and its founders - look what you have done to me and hang your heads in shame. The UK also having similar-ish seasons. At least so far that you recognise a certain drop in temperature towards the beginning of the hockey season, and this gets worse throughout before it starts improving at the end. Instinctively this is setting off the fog-horn inside my head and the increase in adrenaline and endorphins is creating a euphoria that unmistakably is signalling the start of the ice hockey season. I then have an extended period of time called the 'season' when I feel it is totally acceptable for me not only to behave irrationally and be plagued by a wider variety of, and often more intense, mood-swings than a woman with the worst PMS imaginable.

 If you look really closely, you can see the person is actually wearing a Leksand away jersey

Then we have the phenomenon called Kvalserien. My wife knows to avoid me at all cost during these three weeks. And all this usually results in is acute depression, self destructive and aggressive behaviour followed by voluntary isolation and social reclusion. This lasts until the temperature starts falling and the cycle starts all over again. 

As far as I can tell, either Leksand has to move on and up, or, filing that, I must move and do everything  in my power to get out of this cycle. I understand the temperature goes up during the winter in the southern hemisphere - that's at least a promising start! Then we just need to find a place without internet capability and well past the reach of any Swedish radio broadcasts. In fact, preferably a place with no electricity whatsoever. To be on the safe side, there should be no Swedish Embassy or Council and there should be no communication to any country with a Swedish Embassy or Council, including linking infrastructure such as roads, railways etc. Also, NO BLOODY IKEA.

Once I find this place, my life could possibly get back to normal again.

Any suggestions?

Step 1: Compete

I have made a plan of how to regain top league status - if it is followed we can't fail! And today there is cause for celebration as Step 1 in my plan has just been achieved; Leif Stromberg has been removed from the dressing room with all his belongings. Now we're talking! Great move by the board room. Now they just need to observe the rest of my action plan and we're sorted!

• Sack LS
• Hire good coach who promotes all out attacking hockey - I want my 10-2 results back!
• Get rid of some dead wood from the team - some are in dire need of a change of environment.
• Move up the best players from the juniors and give ice time to those behind
• Bring back players such as Ritola and Hedberg who might well want to put the jersey on again.
• Win games
• Have fun and eat your greens
• Qualify for KS
• Qualify for ES

Dead simple. I should be general manager, at least!

Poem for Kvalserien

Surprise surprise, we missed out again
Not sure how I'll ever get used to this pain
but we always live to fight another year
with new players and plenty more beer
Trying to look back to what went wrong
I see Växjö, Sandberg and the bastard Bång

One day I know we will come back
But first, can we please give Strumpan the sack?

AIK grabs the last straw

After a very turbulent season, almost an understatement considering all that has happened, AIK grabbed the opportunity presented to them by promotion contenders Leksand and Rögle to take the second qualification spot to Elitserien. They 'only' had to beat Växjö in the last game to secure their advancement, but as always in Kvalserien, the 'onlys' quickly becomes knuckle-biting 'possiblys'. 

AIK managed to secure the win (2-0) in a tightly fought contest, with both goals scored in the dying minutes of the game in a packed out Johanneshov, thereby securing vital income to the beleaguered club. This was arguably the last chance for survival for the club with the economy being in tatters. And they took it! Puckin' Hell wants to congratulate AIK and their prominent blogger Black Boris for a job well done.

Another wasted year

That's that.

The Nervous System

That's right, everything is affected...

The rock is rolling!

With two games remaining of the 2010 edition of Kvalserien, the outcome is - as predicted - unpredictable to say the least. Södertälje SK somewhat unsurprisingly leads the way with 19 points and will require one more to secure their participation in next year's Elitserien. They are hosting AIK (4th) tomorrow and on Sunday there will be the show-down with Rögle BK (2nd). The game with AIK is a derby-type affair and the outcome is by no means certain. If they would lose, the one point they require will be hard fought to get at the final away game. They should qualify, but in KS, there is a long history of teams choking when one foot is on the finishing line.

Rögle finds themselves in second place on 14 points with Almtuna (5th) to visit tomorrow before taking on Södertälje. Again, none of these teams are easy to play. Almtuna IS has rattled most teams and are notoriously difficult to play in their rink, and with Rögle only just beating AIS on penalties in the previous game, they will not be taking any points for granted. Two wins are of course possible, but they might as well not get any.

Leksands IF is just one point behind in 3rd place and is said to have the easiest run-in. On paper this is true as they are facing bottom of the table Växjö Lakers away on Tursday and finishes with a visit by Almtuna. Växjö has only managed to get three points, all of them did however come while playing in their Lakerdome home and the hosts won both home games 3-1 during the regular season, so to say these are three easy points would be a mistake. Almtuna on the other hand has been defeated every time this season in Ejendals Arena, albeit the affairs have been tightly fought. Underestimation would however be the biggest risk and you would expect Leksand to bring home at least four points from these games.

AIK equals Leksand's 13 points but is behind by a single goal on goal difference and is in 4th position. If the team can get a win from the derby against top of the table Södertälje, the final game will be at home against Växjö, who might be without their three North American players due to a money saving excercise by the club (they will however feature in the previous game versus Leksand). This might have a decisive influence if the final table is decided on goal difference. The big one is however played tomorrow, and both teams will know the result of this game will decide how their seasons are judged, not to mention the SEK 30.000.000 in money from TV rights and another SEK 20.000.000 in extra ticket sales, sponsorship etc. In short, No Pressure!

Are We Coming Home?

Take my hand
and I will close my eyes
guide me home
and on the way
I will silently fantasize

its been along time since I've been home
and I hope I am nearly there
no matter how far you are, they say
home knows no race, no distance
home is fair

home is at the end of war
home is in the mornings sun
home is through every door
home is where you no longer have to run

they say you cant buy a home
they say memories aren't for sale
they say heaven is hell if spent alone
they say home is female and male

home is in a Child's laughter
home is in a lovers arms
home is in a new chapter
home is where you make it yours

                  I am Coming Home, Ayesha Sartawi

Ideal Scenario

With only three rounds still to be played and the two Elitserien teams at occupying the two top spots, a minor miracle is requested to break the cementation of Elitserien. But with points still to play about, a wild imagination and a pocket calculator, things are far from looking as doom-and-gloom as I first thought.

Round 8
Leksand - Södertälje 3-1
Rögle - AIK             2-3
Almtuna - Växjö       4-1 

Round 9
Växjö - Leksand  2-6
Södertälje - AIK  3-4
Almtuna - Rögle  4-2

Round 10
Leksand - Almtuna  3-1
AIK - Växjö           5-2
Rögle - Södertälje  5-3


That would give the following table;
1. Leksand 20
2. AIK 19
3. Södertälje 18
4. Rögle 17
5. Almtuna 13
6. Växjö 3

Back from the Dead

I am back after vowing not to write again until the end of Kvalserien - we seemed to lose after every post, so I had to take my responsibility and refrain from posting. I am now breaking that vow after yesterday's win over AIK. There are a few things I need to get off my chest:

Christian Sandberg is amazing - I'd make a deal involving my soul to get him over to the white side. Sadly enough my soul isn't worth an awful lot. I am however happy to sell, so any bids are welcome.

Jussi Pesonen is a sniper in a donkey's clothing - he confuses me and I am unsure if him being at the club for another year will change that. But by all means, keep on scoring!

A God? A Daemon? A Genius?

I still dislike the hockey presented by Leif 'Strumpan' Strömberg, but I also acknowledge it might be the type of play you have to play to win the type of games you see in Kvalserien. And in all fairness, it hasn't been as defensive/destructive as in Allsvenskan.

Despite recent results, I fully expect the two teams from Elitserien to retain their status after KS is finished. Not necessarily deservedly so,  but as the system is structured like it is they are always going to be in pole position in qualification. And this gap between first and second tier is most certainly going to widen with the increase in TV money received by ES teams from next season. But that's what sport is like in Loob's playground.

I am worried about AIK. Where is the money going to come from? And where are the fans when Leksand is not visiting? Things will have to come to a head after KS and the future of the club will have to be discussed.

Taking it Down a Notch or Two...

Remaining in the same geographical place, we're going from one end of the cultural spectrum to, maybe not the other but rather to another end, we find Kompisarnas Kapell. They have made a few brilliant songs, including this one. For today my friends!

Longing for Home

Hours before yet again facing the final few battles, I am trying to take a step away from the situation and detatch myself emotionally from this essentially inane thing that is labelled sport. I wonder why these emotional bonds you have for a team are seemingly as strong as or even stonger than bonds you have forged with friends or even family - especially as there is very little feedback/return from your object of affection.

This irrational feeling is a constant. It is transcending class and personal preferences/opinions and it bonds people together from all different walks of life. It seems as if it is as strong as the connection you have to the place you call home, the place where you feel you have your roots. Then it strikes me, it's not a deliberate choice you have made, this connection is there whether you like it or not. Some people just decide not to tap into this as much as others. So our opponents are in fact our brothers, we share more than we care to admit. This is why they deserve our respect and admiration. That we put ourselves in a position where the majority will be left unhappy is just the way we have chosen to live - I for one am used to the constant suffering, possibly even addicted to it by now.

In all this, I recall a poem by Dan Andersson, (aptly from my home town) sadly enough I can't seem to find a translation. That he was killed by those pesky people in Stockholm I hope is in no way  an omen of what is  about to begin... For those of you who prefer music than poetry; this is definitely a blues track that is shouting out for someone to sing it!

   
   Jag är trött, jag är led på fabriken,
   jag vill hem till jordhöljt bo,
   till min koja vid Blodstensmyren,
   i de gröna gömmenas ro.
   Jag vill leva på bröd och vatten,
   om jag endast strax får byta
   allt gasljus och larm mot natten
   där timmarna tysta flyta.

   Jag vill hem till dalen vid Pajso,
   till det gräsiga kärret vid So,
   där skogarna murgrönsmörka
   stå i ring kring mossig mo,
   där starrgräs i ånga växer
   vid källor som aldrig sina
   och där växter väva i jorden
   sina rötter silkesfina.

   Jag vill hem till dalen vid Kango
   där ljungen står brinnande röd
   som ett trots i flammande lågor
   framför höstens hotande död -
   där fjärilar, färggrant glada
   på mjöliga vingar sväva
   och tunga, sjungande humlor
   i den svällande myllan gräva.

   Jag vill hem till det fattiga folket
   som svettas i somrarnas glöd,
   som vakar i bittra nätter
   i envig mot köld och nöd. -
   Jag vill dit där molnen gå tunga
   under skyn där stjärnor skina,
   och där obygdsforsarna sjunga
   i takt med visorna mina.

                               Hemlängtan, Dan Andersson

First Round

Almtuna took out one of the pre season favourites as they knocked out Malmö in the decisive play off game yesterday. The home team took a comfortable victory leaving the Redhawks facing yet another season in Allsvenskan. The first round in Kvalserien therefore looks like this.

Almtuna IS -  Leksands IF

Leksand has had problems with Almtuna throughout the season and has only managed to score once in Gränbyhallen. The games has all been home wins with Almtuna's victories being 5-0 and 3-1. Leksand will have to be on their toes and look to cancel out the attacking threat posed by quick players like Robert Kimby and Jimmie Kraft as Almtuna are lethal on the break. AIS does not spend many minutes in the sin bin and will have to be ground down in 5-on-5 play. Letting the hosts take the lead is usually not recommended as they are incredibly good at keeping hold of the puck and frustrating their opponents. Leksand on the other hand are good at containing teams and will not be exposing themselves in the same way Malmö did. This might not suit AIS and they will be forced to play a different type of hockey than what they have done in the play offs, and as far as I know, Almtuna only knows how to play hockey one way. In this game the first goal will be incredibly important. AIS seem to be in form and should be held as favourites to win on home ice. Leksand with two weeks without competitive games will have to get up to speed quickly. However, Almtuna has played three games in the last week and might their stamina will be tested.

Tip: 3-4 after penalties

Great defending!

Rögle BK - Södertälje SK

The two teams from Elitserien battle it out immediately. Rögle is arguably the weaker side of the two and, according to the experts, the side that could possibly be replaced in the top flight by one of the former AS teams. The home advantage is important and Rögle is renowned for being difficult to beat in Ängelholm - however, the pressure will be on to make it count. Södertälje has welcomed back captain and top scorer Linus Klasen from injury and will be going into this game with nothing to lose. A point would be a bonus and the team can play without pressure.

Tip: 2-3


Växjö Lakers - AIK

Växjö has beaten AIK three out of four times this season and being undefeated by AIK at home, they will be hoping the trend will continue. Key man in AIK will be Cristopher Heino-Lindberg - if he has a good day, he can stop any team on his own. AIK is notoriously difficult to figure out and they are renowned for blowing hot and cold, especially on their trips. However, if I were to be a betting man, I'd go for a home win as I think the consistency of Växjö will prevail. Also, it promises to be an interesting post-game match up between coaches Janne Karlsson (VL) and Roger Melin (AIK). Janne Karlsson is certain to be the winner in this one.

Tip: 4-2

Nordström Out. Malmö to Follow?

Leksand's Peter Nordström has been ruled out of participation in Kvalserien due to a ligament problem. The 35 year old was taken off the ice in the last game of the season and after tests the Swedish champion of yesteryear has been told he most likely won't be able to play for the rest of the campaign. 'I'm unable to skate in one direction, and when I fall over it feels as if my foot is breaking off. I have torn a ligament and I'm not entirely sure how long it takes to heal. There won't be any games in the near future, but I hope to be lucky enough to make it back in the later stages of the competition.' he tells Aftonbladet.

 Broken

In the play off for the last spot in KS, Almtuna has levelled the series to one game each. The Uppsala outfit lost a hard fought battle in Malmö with the odd goal after Malmö's Robin Weihager scored the decider in the last period while short handed. Ouch! Yesterday, on home ice, Almtuna won with a more comfortable margin of 4-1. All is however still to play for as the two teams battle it out in the decider tonight at 7PM CET in what promises to be an exciting game. If anyone want's to see it for free, contact me and I might be able to provide a link.

Kvalserien - Now at a Computer Near You

For once the Gods are smiling at me. Visasatondemand is running an offer on all packages (films, entertainment, documentaries and most importantly sports). The package concerns their web broadcasts and will include the live matches from Kvalserien. The official schedule is yet to be released so it is impossible to say what games will be included, but it will be at least two or possibly all games in every round available on their web service. For SEK99 you can now get this for a period of one month, and as KS only runs until April 10, all rounds are now covered.  Considering one game retails at SEK79, this is quite a bargain. You can cancel the service at any time during the first month and not be charged for a second month.

Of course, the service is geographically limited to Sweden due to broadcasting rights. If anyone abroad would be interested in this service I can give a few pointers in how to go about circumventing the geographical IP block. Note that I am in no way endorsing breaching the terms and conditions, merely presenting a technical weakness in their system. But why they are so protective about second tier Swedish ice hockey could be anyone's guess. We only export IKEA, Abba and Volvo - the interesting stuff we keep for ourselves! It sounds like a both likely and valid reason...

Morals? No Thank You, my name is Loob

Håkan Loob and Färjestad BK has once again shown their true face. And it's ugly! One year ago, their goalkeeper, Jonas 'the Monster' Gustavsson was being scouted by various NHL clubs during the play-offs in Elitserien. A furious Håkan Loob went to the media and complained about the distraction caused by the scouts. He called for tighter regulation in terms of North American teams scouting and approaching European players.

This is fair enough and I agree with him for once. There should be stricter regulations that state a club can only approach a player through his contracted club - not talk to him behind their back or  without their approval until the contract is up. This is in place in other sports such as football and even though it is not  in any way a guarantee it will not happen anyway, several big clubs have been convicted for illegal approaches and fined. substantial sums At least they have restrictions in place and they are being enforced.

It looks and behaves like a Penis... but it's got ears...???

Loob apparently forgot to call for similar regulations to be implemented within Sweden, for Swedish clubs approaching players. How odd! No, not really... You might understand better why if I tell you that they at the same time had come/were coming to a verbal agreement with Timrå IK center Johan Andersson although still under contract at Timrå.

Färjestad is the richest club in Sweden and they get whoever whenever they want. And rules are usually just in the way for rich spoilt brats. As they, together with the other Elitserien clubs, decide the rules through Hockeyligan who tells a very weak Swedish Hockey Association what to do, I doubt we'll see any rules like those mentioned implemented.

No too surprisingly, the two faced gutter-spunk from Värmland is now at it again. Leksand's goaltender Joacim Eriksson has been approached by FBK. That it might cause a distraction with the decisive part of the season coming up, is obviously not a problem. At least not for Färjestad. But surely Loob, just back from reporting on what is best for the future of Swedish ice hockey, now has the interest of Swedish hockey at heart and would call for stricter regulations. In fact, I bet you he's on the phone to all the major sports editors as I type this. I'll be waiting in anticipation for tomorrow's papers...

The Anguish of Living Abroad

Every year at the start of the hockey season, I find it difficult to come to terms with living abroad. As the season gets under way this only tends to get worse, and by the time of Kvalserien it has become outright painful. This season has been the worst of them all so far. The main reason I believe is that the TV rights have passed over to Viasat - none of the London pubs have access to Swedish viasat, so I have been forced to watch games on the internet. se24 is working for us foreigners, but viasatondemand is not, due to broadcasting rights. I have however found a way around this after spending hours searching for any way to get around the checks done - if you'd need to know how, please contact me.

Another reason for my anguish is that Leksand has been playing such bad ice hockey it has been painful to watch.

Obviously I head back to my old hunting grounds every once in a while, and when doing so I specifically pick dates in order to fit in as many hockey games as possible. This year I managed to get my dose away at Bofors and at home against Borås. Woooo-fucking-hooo! Honestly, we must get back up to Elitserien. I imagine the agony I feel by living here is matched by the agony people feel living at home and having to face these games every week. No disrespect meant for our opponents, but I don't feel we belong here.

Now, with Kvalserien just about coming up, I've had to dip into the funds and make an investment in order to dampen this agony a little bit. I have bought a device that will enable me to watch the games on a TV whereas it's actually on the computer. I know this is nothing new, but as my laptop is not having a s-video/video out and I only possess an old 'normal CRT TV, I've had to find this thingeemajhiggi. I bet it's rubbish, but at least I can feel a little bit more normal screaming at the TV rather than at a small laptop in the corner.

Save me!

Other than that, my jersey is washed, the beer is on the cooling and I have the dosh to splash out on a couple of bottles of bubbly should that be needed. What else have I forgotten?

The Beauty of the Internet

Pimp it up for Kvalserien by getting your persona for Firefox here.

Agony Time!

Now the final puck has been put in the back of the net in HockeyAllsvenskan for this season. Leksand finishes top for the third time running, AIK is second for the second consecutive season and Växjö pipped Almtuna to the all important third spot. Almtuna, to the surprise of some people, chose Mora as their opponents in the first round of the play-off. I think it is, without a doubt, the right choice to make. Mora is in their worst form of the season, having only won 6 games of their last 19. In the meetings between the two opponents, scores are even with each team having won twice. Notable is that all wins have been on home ice.

That means Malmö is left to take on Bofors, where maybe a bit surprisingly Bofors has the upper hand in the meetings between the two. The Bobcats won the last encounter as recently as on  February 17 at Malmö Arena to take the aggregate score to three wins for Bofors whereas Malmö has only managed one win against their play off opponents this season. This makes it a very possible scenario to have a Almtuna v Bofors play off final.

At the other end of the table we see that Björklöven managed to avoid an embarrassing qualification to retain their status as a team in Allsvenskan as they destroyed Mora 5-1 on home ice. Sundsvall and Oskarshamn will fight against the drop to division 1.

Kvalserien to Elitserien does look like many predicted, with Rögle and Södertälje again joining from above and Leksand, AIK and Växjö + one of the play off teams fighting it out for the two promotion spots. The only difference from last year is that Västerås will be replaced - apart from that KS will look the same.

The talismanic Södertälje captain Linus Klasen is however racing to get back from injury sustained in the game against Skellefteå, A SSK without him is a much less daunting prospect for their opponents than one with him. The estimated healing time for his hand injury is 2-8 weeks. In the worst case scenario he might miss the whole of KS. It would really be a shame if a man with his talents will be out of action, but opposing goalkeepers and defenders will undoubtedly let out a sigh of relief. Watch the clip below if you do not know about his qualities.

But for fans of the already qualified clubs, two weeks of pure agony is now awaiting. Men and women around the country will only exist in this parallel reality with nothing but stats, tactic and possible line changes. I will know all opponents and their tactics - I will be able to repeat the names of the pets of the players playing in Rögle's 4-on-3 third line, and I will know what Roger Melin ate for breakfast. Youtube will stuggle to cope with the workload from KS team clips that will be loaded, reloaded and played at all hours of the day. Families will be deprived of any sensible discussion that does not regard hockey and there will be many sleepless nights and uneaten plates of food. Every player, members of staff and journey-plans by your team will be scrutinised. The logic usually applied to your thinking till become scewed and ridiculously complex. Some people will most likely come to the conclusion that the third goalkeeper is the natural player to be on the left in the checking line - and this has been reasoned with the apparent logic of a mad man. And I will not deny that it is true; I and many with me will become mad men/women for these two weeks. And that's for these two weeks running up to Kvalserien. Then it gets worse.

When Sports Take the Back Seat

It is now getting rather tiresome this talk of internationalisation of the Swedish ice hockey. The human incarnation of the Devil, Håkan Loob, has now come out to say he will step down from the Medvedev/Gazprom/KHL sponsored committee that is looking into the different options for 'The Future of Swedish Ice Hockey'.

Nice looking chap that Loob

Apparently, they are no longer looking into expatriating the 'top' (read 'economically most successful' or 'potentially economically most successful') Swedish teams into KHL. There has been a change of heart. Why one could ask, but the answer is so blatantly clear it would be a waste of energy to do so; People would not be interested to watch this. In itself, that would not be a problem for Loob and his cronies, but apparently the sponsors and the TV channels would not be as interested to splash the cash if that would be the case.

The latest configuration being looked at is branded EHL. Now, according to Loob, it would be based in Sweden. This would of course make Swedish fans happy; We want international hockey, but fuck having to travel to watch the games. The league would like the NHL be a closed one - entry through application only! Now this is more like it. Loob has always been an advocate for a closed system. Apparently it is too big a risk for a club (or 'profit making limited company' as he most likely would call it) to be relegated. This is of course true (I know, I'm a Leksand fan) - but much more so since he and his cohorts have made the distribution of money in the existing Swedish league so massively scewed that it is near enough impossible for the to HockayAllsvenska teams to compete even with the bottom ones in Elitserien. And this economic apartheid is allowed to grow even more year on year. The difference in TV money alone is next year going to be in the region of SEK 28-29 million - approximately the cost of two average HA squads. On top of that you can add the difference in sponsorship, gate income etc etc. Having said this, promotion and relegation is a cornerstone of any European sport. They did close the Finnish league a few years back, this was quickly revoked as it proved unpopular with the crowds. But the effect of the closed system was interesting, some teams actually took 'sabbaticals' with playing the youth team one season in order to amass enough money to buy all the best players and win the league following. Well, why not? Surely better than mid-table mediocrity year after year

Back to the EHL... Any applicants approved to join have to show a sound organisation and economical environment Again, the sporting aspect is of no or very little relevance. Its is all about the money, and they don't even try to pretend otherwise anymore. Those who are under the impression it's not really have to go and check that their cognitive functions are still intact.

 The Future of Hockey - I'll give you £50 if you can spot the puck.

Teams are then supposed to play 60% of the games against domestic opposition, 20% against Nordic opposition and 20% against European opposition. I don't think it's too jumping to conclusions too much if I assume it will, like the NHL, be different conferences with KHL being one of those. Let's assume KHL, (mainly consisting of teams from the old Soviet states, just as now), a Nordic one (Sweden and Finland + potential teams from Norway and Denmark - not that they'd be good enough, but did I by chance mention it is not from the sporting aspect these teams are chosen? Copenhagen and Oslo are however good potential 'markets') and finally one Central European (Czech, Slovakia, Germany, Austria and Switzerland). This, I guess, makes sense. But to get a 60-20-20 configuration in this system, the conferences will have to have smaller conferences within them and the system will at the best become near enough impossible to grasp. But then again - it is about the dosh, not the sport!

What saddens me is that there seem to be very little critique of this in Swedish media and the arm-chair fans seem exited about the developments. The proper hockey fans (I mean the ones who actually care and pay the money to watch the games), seem to be more split with some, like me, being very sceptical about what is going on. I don't make any secrets about my feelings regarding Loob and his plans, but I can understand the frustration of the current system. Sadly they forget that him and his mates in Frölunda and Linköping to a great extent were the architects for the developments in this area over the last ten years. Not only did they fuck up the Swedish league, but now they've got the stomach to complain about it and create another league. Am I exited about this prospect? Sure, in the same way as I am exited to find how it feel to masturbate with a cheese grater!

Hmmm...

I am not saying it is wrong to look at a system like this, but unless there are some major adjustments I will not see the latest suggestion as a viable option. First of all, it must be an open league with relegation/promotion from the domestic ones. This is essential and I will not approve of any other system in sport. Secondly, money comes into the sport when you have a well functioning product - you can't create traditions, rivalries and culture. The step looking at being taken opens the path for Franchises and a level of commercialism not seen in European hockey before.  Call me an old stooge or a fuddy-duddy if you wish - I'd be proud to be one!

Well, I'll try and contain myself until the 2012/13 season, when it is supposed to get off the ground, but until the I've got important things such as HockeyAllsvenskan and Kavalserien to keep me on my toes. God forbid that something interesting actually happens on the ice.

Let the Battle Commence

Several big games are coming up before the end of the normal season this coming Sunday, and it all kicks off tonight with a couple of interesting matches. At the top end of the table we see Almtuna hosting Växjö - a game that will most likely play a major factor in the outcome for which team will have to go through play offs to Kvalserien. Växjö supportrs have in fact arranged buses for the game. That they could only fill up a couple of mini-buses is pathetic, not surprising seeing that they are said to be more tight-arsed than the Scots, but at least it is a start.

 

Once again, there will be more players than fans representing the Lakers

AIK take on Mora in the other game concerning the three fighting for two automatic qualification spots. AIK has a good record against Mora at home over the last couple of seasons and will be hoping to take all three points. With Mora severely out of form at the moment, this looks likely, but the players will have to be more focused than they were in the loss against lowly Sundsvall last game. Even more interestingly we have an internal AIK battle to look out for as well. The AIK football team is playing a pre season friendly against Syrianska FC at the same time as the ice hockey is happening. Which team will draw in more people? Sadly enough, I suspect a non-competitive game of football is higher rated than an important hockey game in the Swedish capital. Philestines!

HockeyAllsvenskan - The Good and The Bad

We are reaching the end of the normal season and Hockeyallsvenskan will be divided in qualification leagues at either end of the table. Even though there are still a few games to go with some very important matches to be played, I'll take a look at the surprises and disappointments of the league.

The Biggest Surprises

1. Bofors IK
   The team has really improved over the last few seasons. For first making themselves known as the most boring/negative team in the country who were  only surviving because of the loan players from Färjestad, Bofors has become an attractive team to watch and still being very hard to break down. A fantastic start of the season has bee cancelled out by the inevitable 'blip'. A small squad that is very sensitive to injuries has been their undoing. If they can keep the prominent players in the team for next season and add some width, they will be very strong indeed.
2. Almtuna IS
   Another team that has been working hard, just away from the spotlight of the bigger teams. Jonas Rönnqvist and Bert Robertsson has worked purposefully with the team and have every player and every unit working for each other. And it's working well. Automatic qualification to Kvalserien is a real prossibility.
3. AIK
   Some might be surprised I am putting AIK, who had a fantastic season last year on my surprises list. Well, I disagree - and this page is my universe, so I can do what I want. AIK did have a fantastic season last year, but I suspected they would be exposed  after the great season they had last year. Their success was built on a solid defence but with Dick Tärnström getting one year older (read 'one year slower'),  and their new signings looking distinctly average, I thought their time would be up. I was right. 'Dicken' is one year slower, and the signings have not been as successful as some would have thought. What has happened is that the other team members have stepped up. A lot. Players like Bång, Sandberg and Gynge are now undoubtedly among the best in the division and would arguably be an asset to any team in elitserien. However, I don't think it will be enough to get promoted, especially since the team still mixes great performances with outright embarrassing ones, but in Kvalserien anything can happen.
   
   
   

This is the way to do it Rönnqvist style. Amazingly it seems to work...

...and the disappointments

1. Björklöven
   The club is once again dragged into the relegation battle. The name, the history and the budget is for a team fighting at the other end of the table, but something has gone seriously wrong in Umeå. Should the club manage to stay in Allsvenskan at the end of the season, I expect to see some major changes with more than a few heads rolling. But at the moment that is a big 'should' that needs to be resolved before thinking about anything else.
2. Västerås IK
   Again a club that were not only looking to challenge for Kvalserien, but to get there as a top 3 team. Nothing has been wrong with the budget or the resources - there can really be no excuses for the failure. As the results have improved over the last few weeks, will it be enough to secure coaches Claes Lindbom's and Fredik Nilsson's contract for next year. I seriously doubt it.
3. Leksands IF
   It's hard to argue this case with the club looking at its third consecutive top spot finish in AS, but I think there are some major issues in the club this season compared to before. The team largely consists of a top division squad, but the public has been treated to division 3 hockey. The lack of ability to kill off a game and to dominate teams seem odd considering the large budget. Will it be enough to go to Elitserien? Not until they learn to beat teams like Borås anyway.